Do you always remember your cherished dreams, that you've ever had or have at the moment, that were fulfilled or have never come true?..

I also have a golden dream - to go to the USA for one semester to study there. I'm going crazy as long as I close my eyes and see the images of that strange NYC with its strange buildings and rappers, strange inhabitants; the lovely Columbia University... So many years passed, but I can still imagine the country so vividly, as if I were there yesterday.
This dream will never come true, cause I won't let it. At least, I won't do anything to make it come true. My place is here, I started here a new life, and I don't want to leave my beloved one. Of course he should not find it out. I'll try to hide my thoughts... from myself as well.
I'm dreaming about an internship in a country of my past... That were really great. The course at the university that I'm attending makes me mad... Every time I approach my dream at least in my thoughts I become so frustrated.
Now I'm trying to finish my hometask and to write a covering letter for an application for a position I will never be applying for.. At the same time I'm thinking it over: finally my life has become so great and happy, why should I change everything again?!